A Journey of Co-Discovery

I invite you, dear reader, to a "journey of co-discovery" in which I will practice Free Association and you, my own personal psychoanalyst, will help me figure out what in the hell is going on in my mind. Now, supposedly, during this process I'm to NOT censor my thoughts. So, if I end up using profanities or offend in any other way, I apologize in advance. Using Free Association, I'm not supposed to know where my train of thought is going to lead us.

Now, I'm going to pull up a couch to lie on (figuratively anyway, but let's just pretend I actually pull one up), settle into a comfortable position, and stare up at your office ceiling...

And now.....it begins. I think it does anyway, I'm so tired, need coffee, mocha, cappuchino, cappuchin monkey, jungle cruise, Indiana Jones, Disneyland, Mickey, overpriced ears that I secrectly want, secret hopes, shame, disappointing my mom, myself, sick, sadness, sick of being sick and sad in different ways, inkblot, the guy who came up with the inkblot that I can never pronounce the name of, juicy fruit gum, wishing it lasts longer, paint color of the same name in high school, drama class, singing, I miss singing and performing, too old now? missing my teen years, gummi frogs, vending machines, Gardetto's, Gepetto, Disneyland again, LOL, WTF is up with Snow White ride?! sore muscles, need exercise, yoga, yogurt, Spoon Me, Green Tea, need to go to the store, need cat food, limescale, knots, quality time, snuggle, missing my bed, missing Ryker, missing Whiskers, missing who I thought he was, man I want some wine right now, tears, "only liquid running from my eyes; and all the feelings I restrained are the remains that survive", now that song's stuck in my head, at least it's not Small World, damnit! now THAT's stuck in my head! Disneyland, LOL! not taking a genius to figure this one out, Einstein, Laura being him, me being Hitler, damn that sucks, but I'm an ISFJ, I doubt Hitler was an ISFJ, I'm a blue too, John from the airplane, Dear John, need to read more, Power of Now, Cindy, Jeff, miss them, scared of them, scared of him, can't even think his name, attorney, money, powerful, powerless, powdered doughnuts, with jelly preferrably, Libby, fallen off the face of the planet? Rachel, Diego, divorce, Nisi, Mike, lame exes...he who shalt not be named...Dan, damnit! so much for not being named. tired so sick of saying how tired I am all of the time, maybe that's why people are dropping like flies, flies in the vasoline, burt reynolds covering himself in vasoline, striptease, demi moore, no I don't think burt reynolds is hot. The Golden girls burt reynolds dinner theatre, Sofia, Chaylynn, Super Mario Bros. , Wii, Toys R us giftcard, saucer for Ryker, big hands, banana hands, jack black , tony robbins, shallow hal, chili dog with all the stuff, when I was pregnant, lifetimes ago. more tired now than then, damnit, bastard, so time wasted time, like sands through the hour glass, days of our lives, lame show colby used to watch, same with grease 2, which I'll still guiltily watch, cool rider, hehehe, laughting to myself practicing scenes in my mind, ahh silly, silly putty, easter, silly putty in eggs, marshmallow eggs, need pics of Rykers soon. missing my baby, nuclear family, *sigh*, hopeless, don't succumb, stay realistic, it's not for you, remember the train yesterday morning? riding on the metro, not here for you, this life isn't for yourself.

Care to analyze me now, doctor?